Creative Writing Challenge

Background

"Sunflower" by Post Malone and Swae Lee has been one of my family's most played songs the last couple of years. I really like the music. The sunflower metaphor and symbolism is great.

I recently looked up the chords, and the song is harmonically simple. It uses the same four-chord progression (D–G–Em–G) for the entire song-or I do at least!

But as I've been singing and learning the lyrics, it's blatantly obvious that the lyrics are the songs weak point. I like the chorus. The second verse is decent, but the first verse is bad, bad.  

Every time I practice the song, I tell myself I'm going to revise the lyrics. Today, I finally got around to it. I started and then texted a friend. Now I'll extending my creative writing challenge to all!

Prompt

Take the song "Sunflower," by Post Malone and Swae Lee, revise and or rewrites as much or little of the lyrics as you want. Your goal is to improve the lyrics to the best of your abilities and preferences. 

I'm going to follow these constraints:

• Keep the original theme of the song
• Keep the sunflower metaphor and symbolism
• Keep the chorus so other people (my daughter) can sing along

Submit your revised lyrics in the comments!

Lyrics

Aye, aye, aye, aye (ooh)
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh (ooh)
Aye, aye
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Needless to say, I keep it in check
She was a bad, bad, nevertheless (yeah)
Callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck (wreck)
Crash at my place, baby, you're a wreck (wreck)
Needless to say, I'm keeping in check
She was all bad, bad, nevertheless
Callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck
Crash at my place, baby, you're a wreck
Thinkin' in a bad way, losin' your grip
Screamin' at my face, baby, don't trip
Someone took a big L, don't know how that felt
Lookin' at you sideways, party on tilt
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Some things you just can't refuse
She wanna ride me like a cruise
And I'm not tryna lose

Then you're left in the dust
Unless I stuck by ya
You're the sunflower
I think your love would be too much
Or you'll be left in the dust
Unless I stuck by ya
You're the sunflower
You're the sunflower

Every time I'm leavin' on you (ooh)
You don't make it easy, no (no, no)
Wish I could be there for you
Give me a reason to, oh (oh)
Every time I'm walkin' out
I can hear you tellin' me to turn around
Fightin' for my trust and you won't back down
Even if we gotta risk it all right now, oh (now)
I know you're scared of the unknown ('known)
You don't wanna be alone (alone)
I know I always come and go (and go)
But it's out of my control

And you'll be left in the dust
Unless I stuck by ya
You're the sunflower
I think your love would be too much
Or you'll be left in the dust
Unless I stuck by ya
You're the sunflower
You're the sunflower (yeah)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Louis Russell Bell / Carl Austin Rosen / Khalif Malik Ibn Shaman Brown / Billy Walsh / Austin Richard Post / Carter Lang

Sunflower lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Emi April Music Inc., Eardrummers Entertainment Llc, Twenty Fifteen Avenue Music Inc., Twenty Fifteen Boulevard Music Inc., Nyankingmusic, Posty Publishing, Wmmw Publishing, Universal Music Works, Hi Fi Asset Acquisition Co Lp Bmi