I have been feeling a little emotionally lonely. And then I have been
really horny lately. There is a girl I'm flirting with, but I don't really
like her. She is cool, but just doesn't have that something. I'm over the previous girl. She was actually really inconsiderate. I was just blinded by
something. There is another girl. She is cool and has a little
something about her. But I'm not sure if she likes me like that. Maybe
that is the "something," the challenge or whatever. Do I fulfill my
hormonal desire or maintain my moral code? I feel like it is wrong to
use a person for a physical need, and maybe it is too mean to be so explicit. I'm already leading her on. She wants me
to visit her this weekend, but I'm not going. Too far, it is a nine hour travel at
best. Well, my problem is extremely minor.
I'm very lucky to only have this to complain about. I feel very fortunate
to be able to be here (Mozambique) and get a different perspective of life here. I have all this time to think, reflect, and read. I remember dad always
saying Gramma Bobbie used to say, "You think you have problems? look
around." I'm not sure where all this is going. I keep coming across this
principle of love in the books I'm reading. Not just being in
love, but having love for all people, life, or even abstract things. We have to follow
our passion to be happy [1]. Change, growth, and developing more as a
person is part of life, finding ourselves and THE WAY is no easy task. One thing I don't want is regrets in
life.
[1]11 Mar 2023 Reflection- following one's passion is a terrible cliche. Depending on how that idea is interpreted, I think it is a potentially terrible idea. If follow your passion means be healthy and stable enough to enjoy hobbies and free time, then sure. If follow your passions means getting a graduate degree in an over-saturated field or struggling for decades to be an artist, then no!
