We had friends over last night for dinner. I was the only white American present among a diverse group of Asian Americans. One of the young women is having an issue with her white boyfriend being upset because her Indian parents don't care to meet him. The white boyfriend recently took a sabbatical leave from his job to pursue his dream of becoming a musician. This additionally made my friend reluctant to introduce her boyfriend to her parents this weekend.
I can't fall back asleep. I'm thinking about his, so here I am. I thought I had a really great and interesting connections to make, but now that I started writing, I'm having to change my mind and opinions.
Aside
The conversation kept going to statements that started with "white parents..." I didn't like it being termed as white vs non white. I saw it more as American culture. Third generation Americans, or further, have adopted American ideas and culture around individualism. Now reflecting, I think the descriptor white is accurate enough. If you told a group of black, Asian, or non white Americans the term "white parents," I think they would get it. If someone said white parents don't care who their kids date... or white parents support their kids quitting their jobs to be artists... Non white Americans would know exactly what that means. No further description or explanation needed.
What's up with White Parents?
A lot.
They value American culture. White parents, maybe excluding immigrants from Eastern Europe, are way more likely to value individualism, self fulfillment, self expression, creativity, and following one's passion. Combine these values with all the correlation to "white privilege," and you get parents who have the privilege and security to encourage their offspring to follow their passion. Add the media and all these famous people doing what they love, the American Dream, where people can achieve anything. The result is offspring wanting to be musicians, athletes, actors, and writers. And instead of parents encouraging them to be engineers, doctors, or lawyers (like immigrant families might), they support their pursuits of their passions. Most parents must know their offspring won't succeed, but there is value in trying. Maybe the white parents didn't get their chance and they want to afford their offspring that chance. Or the white parents tried, failed, and believe that the trial provides valuable growth. There are a lot of reasons why, but to generalize, the white parents are more supportive and accepting of pursuing passions that won't directly produce a "good" career.
There's a lot more to it. Do you have any ideas?
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