Background
My buddy Brian was talking about a patient he had who was 16 years old. She recently had a nexplanon, birth control, put in a few months prior. The birth control requires a surgery, so she returned to get it removed. Her intentions were to have a baby and start a family. After 3 hours of counseling her and trying to convince her to keep the nexplanon, the nexplanon was removed. There were several concerning issues with this young woman becoming a parent. But my argument is that no 16 year old should have a child.
I'm biased against people having kids in general. I think the population is too large and all life of Earth would benefit greatly by people having fewer and preferably no children. With that said, my wife and I do have a child from an unplanned pregnancy. So yes, I am a father telling other people to not have their own children. And yes, I see the irony and hypocrisy in the my actions vs my beliefs.
I'm considering this as a philosophical question. Although I would support laws and policies to prevent people from having offspring, I'm not presenting a policy or legislative act.
Side note, I'm referring to modern American society more specifically, and western society generally. My ideas might change in other societies and cultures. For example, in a hunter and gather tribe, 16 might be a great age for motherhood. Or, in the future, I could see 16 year olds being more mature, intelligent, and educated, so they might be better prepared for motherhood too.
In a group meet hangout, Brian explained his experience and asked our opinions. Here is my opinion after thinking about it more.
My Stance
Hell no!
A 16 year old having a child is a bad idea. Even a responsible 16 year old with straight As, a full time job, and a multi-million dollar trust fund is abad idea. That 16 year old should finish school and go live her life. She is going to change a lot over the next decade, and an older, wiser, woman will be a much better and informed parent.
Our society has stages in adolescence and adulthood that make it almost impossible for a 16 year old to raise a child without significant help from their parents or family. There are going be so many obstacles for a 16 year old with a child and those obstacles will effect the child negatively.
16 year olds have sex, get pregnant, and give birth. I get that. A 16 year old getting pregnant and having a child is different from a 16 year old actively trying to get pregnant.
I don't think every 16 year old should be forced to have an abortion either, although I would support each of their choices to get an abortion.
I'm not sure how a policy could stop people from getting pregnant or avenge kids, but as I mentioned I don't think 16 year olds, or teenagers in general, should have children in their teens.
My main reason is personal liberty.
Personal Liberty
I love freedom. As an individual, I want 100% personal freedom to do whatever I want. I don't need or want a government or people telling me what do to with my life.
But as a member of society, I do not want others to have 100% personal freedom to do whatever they want. Other people's choices affect me and society. And since I do not want to be affect by other's choices, I am willing to give up some, or maybe lots, of my personal liberty.
Let's look at a more extreme example. What if a 16 teen year old wanted to kill a person? People all agree she can't do that. That affects the person she kills, the person's family, plus it puts others at risks and in danger during the act of killing.
But killing is the opposite of giving birth. Yes, but the birth will affect society too. I didn't research this, but I'm confident the data wouldn't look good for life expectancies for children of 16 year old mothers vs children of 26 year old mothers. There is probably great data on parents who have kids 10 years about to prove this. I'll look it up later and share it.
I also know there are too many variables to accompany age. Education, income, drug use, and being a single parent are probably great indicators of a child's future life expectancy.
It is possible that a 16 year old, well educated, full time worker, proper family and community support, who wanted the child, wouldn't have significantly better life expectancies. In that case studies might show a parent's age is less important than other factors. But still that potential child would have better life expectancies with those same proper support from parents who are older and wiser. That 16 year old would certainly be in a better position later in life, pending an extremely unlikely accident.
Let's look at a 16 year old like the one Brian was counseling. This young woman had a lot of concerning factors. She lacks the family support. She lacks the financial support. She is a liability to society. Her child and family are going to cost society. The 16 year old is going to need welfare to support and raise her child until the child can go to school at least. The chances of this family being on welfare will be among the highest demographics. The 16 year old's child will be more likely to drop out of high school, get into legal trouble, and be on welfare.
More than likely, society, not the 16 year old, is going to pay for this family to survive. If society is paying for the family and child, then society should decide if the child is born. I'm speaking for society.
As a member os society, I repeat, hell no!
I get this young woman has had a hard life. It's not fair. It's not right. But her wanting and having a child isn't going to solve her problems. She might think it is, but outsiders, like Brain know how unlikely this is. Having children makes life harder, not easier. It's going to make her child's life more similar than dissimilar to her life. The life she hopes to escape by having a child.
The only hard evidence is statistics. It is almost impossible to predict am individual person's actions and or outcomes. But if we look a large numbers of people, the larger the better, through statistics, we can get a good estimate of what people will do.
I do not know the numbers now because I didn't research them. But I'd follow the numbers. If statistics say I'm wrong about expected outcomes, I will gladly change my stance. But my gut and knowledge of studies tells me the outcomes will not look good.
She wants a child. Okay fine, she can want a child. She should prove to herself and society that she can take care of herself. By the time she does that, she should be old enough to have a child.
This isn't a man telling a young women what to do with her body. She can go have as much protected sex as she wants, go experiment with drugs, get a job, and move out on your own. But having a child is a lot more than doing what she wants with her body. It affects society and the child.
Our wants, my wants, your wants, and or others' wants do not matter. Who cares what people want? Here are a few things I want. I want to travel the world a sail boat. I want cheap, ethically produced, sustainable food. I want to get paid well to do activities I enjoy, like read and write. I want to have sex about ten times per week. You get the point. I can't always have what I want. You can't always have what you want. And that 16 year old can't always have what she wants, "But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need."
Brian's patient can't get what she wants in this case, but if she keeps trying in other areas she might get what she needs.
Question for Brian and Drew
Would you want your daughters to be able to make the choice to have a child at 16?
I know it is almost impossible that any of our daughters would want to have a child at 16, especially considering the upbringing they will have. But still, would you want them to have that choice? If your daughters were randomly placed with an American mother, would you want them to have the freedom to have a child at age 16?
For similar reasons expressed above, you know my answer.
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