My Life and Happiness

I wrote this for my girlfriend at the time on 21 October 2009. I removed her presence to focus on my ideas. Otherwise, as any reader will notice, I didn't edit or revise. I've grown a lot as a writer and thinker. Anyone viewing this blog for the first time, find a newer post!

How I live in the US

In one word “simple”. I live a really simple life. I do not go out very much, spend, or make very much money. Im really good at saving money, I have to be to be able to do the things I want. I value my time so I do not buy very much stuff. I own more clothes than anyone needs. So I really do not need anything. I have only spent about $50 in the last.

I do not like eating out. For me most times I enjoy my own cooking better. I do not really enjoy going to bars or clubs anymore. I would rather go drink beer and play beer pong at Johnny’s with friends. I do act different with my friends. My friends are not really like me though. My brother is more like I am. And Will and I are similar in many ways.

Im working with my dad. We work about 6 hours a day, and it takes 45 minutes to get to and from work. When we get home I usually run and workout, shower, cook, and chill after all that. Watch some TV, play online, or play some music.

Happiness

I'm not really sure. I know I feel it when I am with you. I really feel how happy you make when I see at the train stations. To see your smile and your causal look, this makes me very happy. To walk around town holding your hand, to lay down at night with you by my side, to kiss you, to make love to you, all these things make me feel so great. Happier than I ever thought I would be. So happy that when you leave me it hurts and I feel sick. You make me feel so happy that I am completely clueless on what I want to do in life. All I can think about is that I want to be with you. I want to learn German so I can go to school or find a job near you. Or become an English teacher so I can teach English somewhere close to you. If I could find a job and get a work visa I would go now. Or after you came to visit. All these question I have about life, our purpose, happiness, I don’t know about. I try to keep an open mind, And just do what I think is right.

I say I want to help others, and I do. But this is also difficult. I just want to help people think for themselves. So many people are so blind or are slaves to this cycle of life. All they know is what they are told. They believe whatever the media tells them with out any evidence or proof. Or they want more from life but do not know how to achieve or take advantage of possible options.

I use to feel that just being happy in life was maybe selfish. Because I could be happy very easy and without being productive. But I think true happiness is more than just doing something fun. I

If asked everyday what is happiness? And I would probably tell something different each time. Im always thinking of different ideas and thoughts. I think happiness is hard to explain or easy to explain. We learn from our parents, school, and TV. But I know many people that have these things and are still not happy. I can tell you many things that make me happy. Achievement, sports, exercise, music, comedy, friends & family, eating, being on top of a mountain, the views of nature, sunsets and rises, at the beach, outdoors, being far away from the city/people/society, helping people with anything (directions, opening a door, carrying something), making other laugh, and there is more.

I used to never understand when people would say happiness is finding the person who is perfect for you. I understand why people think that. I think about what is the purpose in life and sometimes I think maybe there is not one. I would like to think that there is.