A Photo from Half a Life Ago

I finished The Good Life today. It's well worth a read or listen. It offers practical advice with the science to support the main claim that having good relationships is the healthiest choice that humans can make/control, more impactful than diet or exercise.

I might turn a couple more of the exercises from the book into blog posts. Here is the first one:

Find a photo when you were half of your current age.

Pre Prompt Reflection

I don't remember any of my photos that I found where I was about half my age. I turn 41 years old soon. I know roughly what photos I was 19-20 years. Many of my 19-20 year old photos I'm shirtless, not snailing, and or drinking. I can't specifically recall any of the photos' moments.

I remember hating wearing shirts. I don't know why and I finally grew out of that phase in my 30s. I still enjoy running without a shirt on a sunny day, but otherwise I prefer to at least have a tank top even when it is hot.

For the not smiling, maybe I was trying to be tough or serious. I wasn't smiling in most of the photos I could find. I don't recall any reason for that. I feel like I always smile for photos, but it's clear I wasn't for at least a couple years. 

Half my life ago is very distant from me. Someday this present moment will be as distant as the photo I'm about to reflect on.

Prompt

1. Find a photo of yourself when you were when half as old as you are now. 
2. Take a close look at yourself in the photo.
3. Place yourself back in that moment when the photo was taken.
4. Spend several minutes. Remember and consider:
   
1. the era of your life,
   
2. what you were thinking,
3. what you were worried about,
4. what you were hopeful about,
5. what you were planning,
6. where and who you spent your time with,
7. what was most important to you then.
8. when you think of yourself at that time, what do you regret?
5. Reflect in as much detail as you'd like.

My Photo

My Reflection

I have zero confidence in what I was thinking at the time. As I mentioned above, I feel so distant from my younger self. I know I would relate and understand myself well. But that specific time, the summer of July 2003, I can't recall. I could capture my mindset a lot closer in 2002 or 2004, but 2003 seems like a blank transition. I'll finish my reflection in the prompt order.

1. I was home on leave after a 11 month deployment to Okinawa, Japan. We were extended 5 months due to the invasion of Iraq. I was 20 years old. I probably knew my unit was going to Iraq soon. I was recently prompted to Corporal which was a big goal of mine. I even more recently got in trouble for going to Mexico without permission. My buddy and I were so drunk, we couldn't make it back across the US board. We were detained boarder patrol and our unit was notified. This was a great embarrassment to me after my recent promotion. And an even greater defiance of my new first sergeant, who specifically verified that we were not allowed and weren't going to Mexico that weekend.
2. In the photo, at that moment, I have no clue what I was thinking. I think my brother and cousin drove me back to base. So this picture could have been days to hours before we left. I'm probably laughing because taking this photo probably created some type of argument. In general, I was close to being half way done with my service. I was growing more and more disseminated with the military each day. I'm sure drinking, partying, and working out were on my mind a lot. I had read Lance Armstrong's book when I was 19 or 20. That book had a large impact on me. It inspired my tattoo of never quitting. I believed I was in control of my life. It was up to me. Yes. That was it. Young, dumb, and over confident in my ability to control my destiny, yet under confident in other areas.
   
3. Even less of a clue than the last response. I'm sure I wasn't worried enough or much about anything. I might have been worried about missing out on my life due to the lack of freedom as a member of the military.
4. I probably wanted to go to Iraq. I'm sure I was hoping to see and engage in combat.
5. Not sure. I wasn't thinking about colleges yet. There wasn't going to be any promotions in sight. Probably Iraq.
6. I had been home on leave hanging out with my friends and family. My cousin and brother were driving me back to base. Then life on base was hanging out with and living with my peers. Almost all my time was spent with my best friends in supply. We ate together, worked together, hung out together, drank together. It's more time than you'll ever spend with the same people again. I've never spent so much time with anyone else over a three year period. Maybe my parents before I started school, but even then my parents worked.
   
7. Probably running and working out when sober and on base. Getting drunk and having fun when off base.
8. In hindsight, I drank way too much. I wasted a lot of my free time on an activity I gained close to nothing from. A lot of risky behaviors and feeling like crap. It's hard to really regret it because I didn't know any better. That was part of my path to here. I regret not having better influences. I regret needing to drink to feel the level of outgoingness I preferred. Too bad I didn't read Into the Wild. That book may have reached me.